I can finally write those words without a mixture of dread, remorse for signing up in the first place and happy fluttering giant luna moths in my stomach. I still get nervous, but am no longer afraid I won't finish. This last weekend the high was around 48f, it was drizzling, and DAMN if I didn't feel pretty good by the end. The mental obstacle part is always before and my gut has learned to override any negative thoughts with excitement and anticipation of how good I know I'll feel once I'm done.

It wasn't always this way, as anyone who's gone back and read my posts can see. I've been racing tri's for 5 years now, but it was only last week when I realized that the term "easy run" in my planned workout log is no longer a contradiction in terms. I performed this race, in adverse condtions, at a better pace for the swim and run than in past years, and about equal to my bike splits. I'm guessing my bike splits would have been better if I hadn't crashed once, but who's to say? Having numb fingers and feet also slowed my T1 and T2 times,but all in all, GREAT RACE!

Would I have said that a year or two ago? Probably not. Signing up for races was simply a way to get myself out to excersise. Knowing that I'd race after paying to do so, training was a way to try and minimize the amount of pain I'd experience on race day. As I got in better shape and my numbers got better, there was more motivation to continue and now I'm having fun and doing my best ever.

It did not take me 5 years to get into better physical shape. Given my athletic background and no other mitigating factors like injury or sickness I could have likely gotten into this shape in one year. It took me 4 years to start getting my head to a place where I'd get out every day and not every workout was preceded by mental wrangling and self trickery. It took me 4 years of working out my mind to accept on a gut level that the goodness I feel the other 22 hours each day was worth the test I was giving it for 2.

Just like your body improves when challenged, so does your mind. It doesn't have to take so long physically, if you are already there mentally. Pro's come back from injuries and retirement all the time and get back to playing form pretty quickly. But remember that it can take that long, and that's ok. Don't give yourself a mental black eye just because you don't have the motivation to workout 10+ hours a week on top of everything else. Do what you can and keep doing it, don't give up because you think you aren't going often enough or improving fast enough, you are your own benchmark, just keep putting 'one foot in front of the other, it's the next one that get's you there'

The Oreo's were eluding me. Like the stripes of zebras which blend together as they run across the Serengeti which make it difficult for the lion to target just one to take down, so too were the stripes of the Oreo's making it difficult for me to focus on one to nab off the tray. I was gliding through the feed station just before the 394 bridge, my body crying out for nourishment and my brain crying out that #551- was getting away again. I finally came to a complete stop and thanked the volunteers before cramming the cookie into my mouth and gulping some energy drink. Then I took off to catch the woman I had been leapfrogging with through most of the Quaking Bog section's twisty downhills and steep uphills. The 2009 City of Lakes Loppet 33k skate race was already half over.

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Despite the negative temperatures that left all the racers bristling with frost by the end, the Lumberjack Jaunt in Brainerd Minnesota was a friendly and fun, if small, event. The cold conditions kept many racers away this year, but a small hard core group remained. Bright and cold at the start, the conditions didn't change significantly during the race keeping the snow slow and loud enough to drown out the encouragement from the spectators trailside. Even though I was not able to hear their words, their presence was warming on the inside. Thank you for everyone who came out! In the end, everyone survived to enjoy the fabulous soup and sandwich lunch afterward. Great soup Josh! Well done!

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24 hours.
Twenty-four hours of x-c skiing isn't fast, and it isn't flashy. It isn't even terribly fun to watch your athlete struggle on the course and struggle more in the hotel room working up the whatever it is from deep inside that gets him/her back out on that cold, dark course for more torture. It isn't entirely fun to be that athlete either when you are trying to take in more calories and more liquids than any person should in a day. My guts hurt, my chest hurt (I tried to keep the face mask on in the cold air but could not and I’m still coughing), my head hurt, and my soul hurt because I believed during the race that I should have been able to put twice as many laps down. When all was said and done, my GF and parents were there to see me stand as the number one solo skier at the 24 hours of Telemark of 2009. There were three solo men out there for the whole 24 too and I beat the top man by 4 minutes. I put down 20 laps alone in temperature ranges from around -12f to 12f above. The last couple hours saw a solid coating of fresh snow that slowed things down even further, but those big fluffy flakes were beautiful dropping through the trailside cluster of white pines as the sun rose.

This is not a typical race, and it's hard for skier and non-skier alike to understand.

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As always, before a big race I get a little worried. The 24 hours of Telemark is this weekend and though I have done this race 3x before, I still get nervous. This time though I think I have my nerves bundled just about right.
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Sometimes you think you can't go on -

Sometimes you think the opposition is just too big -

Too strong -

Going to eat you alive.

But anything is possible if you just keep your head up -

Keep trying -

Stay aware of your surroundings -

And always make the best use of the tourists in the boat:

Seems like endurance events, especially running and triathlons, have begun to get a little exposure to the general population of the US. Beyond the typical televised pro sports (football, hockey, basketball, baseball) here in the US, there is a huge number of people participating in edurance sports that buy DVD's, check listings and wait months for a single event they are interested in to come on tv, stay up late and watch events on the internet and so on, just to see the top competitors in endurance sports. The participant ranks are swelling for triathlons, 5k and 10k runs, and even the longer races that you will not finish if you don't train like the Marathons and Ironmans. So even though many can not conceive of ever running 26.2 miles, or completing the 2.4 swim, 112 mile bike and the 26.2 mile run of the Ironman, people are not surprised when another person tells them they have completed, or aspire to complete, these distances. Though I have heard the "head case" and "crazy" labels applied to myself many times for my participation in these activities, it is still meant all in fun. Few really believe I am going to hurt myself by participating, or am actually dangerously mentally unbalanced. Just getting out and working out. Some even find this something to admire, inspire and aspire to.

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your sense of all the laws of nature and you are forced to synthesize the new information into your worldview:

Anyone who knows me knows I am terrible at remembering this stuff...But HAPPY BIRTHDAY ELLEJAYHO!

T S Eliot at Listal

No snow yet so I'm still endeavoring to nt kill or maim myself on the rollerskis. But the best part of my week comes in the form of media distribution, Monty Python has launched their own youtube channel!

bringing us this!







and this!




and finally whistle:



and more! All they ask is that you buy their stuff too, I guess I do that anyway, so what the hey!

Not really deep, but I've realized that the thoughts that are really working ot get me out of the house for a workout is finding ways to convince myself that I really can't do tomorrow what I can do today. Sort of reverse procrastination..what is that? Crastination?

I was looking at the progress of the last three years and imagining how I would've felt if I had started out thinking about all of the work I have now put in to get back into shape.  There is no way I would have gotten here.  I would've let myself put it off until tomorrow instead. 

It is a struggle to get me out the door again for even the briefest workouts. My left foot is giving me grief. Every time I go running I need to take 4 days off after to let my foot recover. I could understand if it were the right one because that's the one I had surgery on.

I have also let my rollerskis intimidate me for far too long again too. Have you ever seen these things? They are NuTz!!




If you look closely you'll notice there are no brakes on these things. They really don't get going as fast as rollerblades, but I have needed to fling myself to the dirt more than once to stop, hence the raging rash I got on my face a few years ago due to a dive into a poison ivy patch.

And it really hurts when you take a digger, which I do with morbid regularity. Kneepads help. It's a little odd that after 18 years on x-c skis I still have troubles balancing on one ski. I think I have had more lasting injury and lost skin due to rollerski falls than any other sport, which is saying something. The rollerskate accident I had as a kid is still the worst one time crash if measured by flesh loss and catastrophic injury though. Broken arms heal though, torn ligament and connective tissue don't heal as well.

Anyway, I need to keep a few things in mind:

1. I just did a freaking Ironman - It was the hardest and longest race I have ever done, that includes 24 hours of Telemark (24TK). It's hard to give my self a break though. I am kind of an all or nothing personality. Taking is easy isn't in my normal repertoire.

2. I need to remember that according to objective measures, my base fitness is significantly higher this year than last, my base heart rate is lower for one, my breathing efficiency is up for two, so I don't need to worry quite so much about this year's 24TK. Subjectively I feel as if I have practically devolved into some flaccid sea creature, but this is not the case. Hear that brain? This is not the case!

3. If all I do until January is sit on my butt, I do need to worry. My cravings for junk food are subsiding again at least, I haven't had any McD's, but Arby's and I did brisk bussiness there for a while. It does help working overnights when nearly everything is closed. But

4. My goal this year at 24TK is to improve on last year. I skied 25 laps. That's 125k. This year I'm looking toward 30+ laps or 150+k



So these things seem to be leading me in the direction that all I really need to do at this point is get out of the house. I don't need to got hard or long, but I do need to go.

Now if only science can explain why farts smell different in the shower...sry no cut, no time..

The Stink in Farts Controls Blood Pressure

livescience.com – Thu Oct 23, 3:21 pm ETA smelly rotten-egg gas in farts controls blood pressure in mice, a new study finds.

The unpleasant aroma of the gas, called hydrogen sulfide (H2S), can be a little too familiar, as it is expelled by bacteria living in the human colon and eventually makes its way, well, out.

The new research found that cells lining mice's blood vessels naturally make the gas and this action can help keep the rodents' blood pressure low by relaxing the blood vessels to prevent hypertension (high blood pressure). This gas is "no doubt" produced in cells lining human blood vessels too, the researchers said.


"Now that we know hydrogen sulfide's role in regulating blood pressure, it may be possible to design drug therapies that enhance its formation as an alternative to the current methods of treatment for hypertension," said Johns Hopkins neuroscientist Solomon H. Snyder, M.D., a co-author of the study detailed in the Oct. 24th issue of the journal Science.


Snyder and his colleagues compared normal mice to mice that were missing a gene for an enzyme known as CSE, long suspected as being responsible for making hydrogen sulfide. As they measured hydrogen sulfide levels taken from tissues of the CSE-deficient mice, the scientists found that the gas was depleted in the cardiovascular systems of the altered mice. By contrast, normal mice had higher levels of the gas, thereby showing that hydrogen sulfide is naturally made by mammalian tissues using CSE.


Next, the mice were subjected to higher blood pressures comparable to serious hypertension in humans. Scientists had them respond to a chemical called methacholine that relaxes normal blood vessels. The blood vessels of the CSE-lacking mice hardly relaxed, indicating that hydrogen sulfide is a huge contender for regulating blood pressure.


Hydrogen sulfide is the most recently discovered member of a family of gasotransmitters, small molecules inside our bodies with important physiological functions.


This study is the first to reveal that the CSE enzyme that triggers hydrogen sulfide is activated itself in the same way as other enzymes when they trigger their respective gasotransmitter, such as a nitric oxide-forming enzyme that also regulates blood pressure, Dr. Snyder said.


Because gasotransmitters are common in mammals all over the evolutionary tree, these findings on the importance of hydrogen sulfide are thought to have broad applications to human diseases, such as diabetes and neurodegenerative diseases.


The research was supported by grants from the U.S. Public Health Service and the Canadian Institutes of Health Research as well as a Research Scientist Award.

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SRSLY? This is easier than walking?

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Ok, the next time anyone thinks they should tell someone not to try to follow their dreams: