I can finally write those words without a mixture of dread, remorse for signing up in the first place and happy fluttering giant luna moths in my stomach. I still get nervous, but am no longer afraid I won't finish. This last weekend the high was around 48f, it was drizzling, and DAMN if I didn't feel pretty good by the end. The mental obstacle part is always before and my gut has learned to override any negative thoughts with excitement and anticipation of how good I know I'll feel once I'm done.

It wasn't always this way, as anyone who's gone back and read my posts can see. I've been racing tri's for 5 years now, but it was only last week when I realized that the term "easy run" in my planned workout log is no longer a contradiction in terms. I performed this race, in adverse condtions, at a better pace for the swim and run than in past years, and about equal to my bike splits. I'm guessing my bike splits would have been better if I hadn't crashed once, but who's to say? Having numb fingers and feet also slowed my T1 and T2 times,but all in all, GREAT RACE!

Would I have said that a year or two ago? Probably not. Signing up for races was simply a way to get myself out to excersise. Knowing that I'd race after paying to do so, training was a way to try and minimize the amount of pain I'd experience on race day. As I got in better shape and my numbers got better, there was more motivation to continue and now I'm having fun and doing my best ever.

It did not take me 5 years to get into better physical shape. Given my athletic background and no other mitigating factors like injury or sickness I could have likely gotten into this shape in one year. It took me 4 years to start getting my head to a place where I'd get out every day and not every workout was preceded by mental wrangling and self trickery. It took me 4 years of working out my mind to accept on a gut level that the goodness I feel the other 22 hours each day was worth the test I was giving it for 2.

Just like your body improves when challenged, so does your mind. It doesn't have to take so long physically, if you are already there mentally. Pro's come back from injuries and retirement all the time and get back to playing form pretty quickly. But remember that it can take that long, and that's ok. Don't give yourself a mental black eye just because you don't have the motivation to workout 10+ hours a week on top of everything else. Do what you can and keep doing it, don't give up because you think you aren't going often enough or improving fast enough, you are your own benchmark, just keep putting 'one foot in front of the other, it's the next one that get's you there'